Robert Munsch Knew What He Was Talking About

I occasionally come across stories of families who have lost their babies, it isn't as rare as you might think.  Whenever I read about it I can't stop myself from crying.  Until you are a parent yourself I think it is impossible to understand how deep the loss of a child can be.  I came across one such story this morning while Chloe was having her morning nap and once again, I burst into tears.  I thought of Chloe and how much I love her and how empty my life would be without her.  Her cheeky little smile, the hilarious gurning grin that shows off her bottom teeth that she's recently started doing.  How she has her babbling language that's developing every day.  How she is always on the go, her palms slapping the floor as she crawls purposefully towards yet another new and exciting thing to investigate.  Just as I finished reading, I heard some noises form her bedroom and went to find her standing in her cot, gently bouncing on the mattress, beaming a smile at me.  I gathered her up into my arms and hugged her for a long time.  I could go on and on all day and bore you all to death about all the things I love about her.  She's always entertaining and always interesting.  Even now she's just crawled out of the lounge on a new mission of destruction.  I can hear rustling so I suspect she has crawled into the office and emptied the bin and is spreading it's contents around the floor.  Let me go check. Yes indeed, caught red-handed:

I guess this is all just to say that I cherish every day with her, I take nothing for granted and I wouldn't trade the choice I've made to have a child and to stay at home and raise her for anything.  Any parent who has lost a child, has my heartfelt sympathies and I'm in awe of the strength they must have to continue living their lives with joy, despite the sadness that must never go away. 

I've always loved that children's story Love You Forever by Robert Munch, but now I truly understand it.  In years to come I too can imagine myself as an old woman, wanting still to hold my grown child in my arms at night and rock them to sleep saying to them,

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be.